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by Cdr. Bud Slabbaert
Isn’t it sad to observe how few people around one, who can really be trusted. They always look at one to see how much they can out of one and benefit from one. It appears that over the years this phenomena has become worse and even continues to get worse. It is everywhere, local, regional and international. It is all about money and power. Human true values get farther and farther in the background.
What makes it particularly sad is not merely that some people are selfish, opportunistic, or driven by money and power. It is the gradual erosion of the confidence that there are still people who value a relationship for what it is, rather than for what they can get out of it.
There is a particular disappointment when experience teaches one to look beyond people’s words and pay closer attention to their motives. Someone may show interest, offer friendship, or express admiration, but one begins to wonder what lies behind it. Is it genuine interest in you as a person, or an interest in what you can do for them? Having to ask that question too often can become exhausting.
This is not confined to personal relationships. The same behavior can be observed in business, politics, and international affairs. Principles are proclaimed, partnerships celebrated, and loyalties declared, yet self-interest often determines what happens when the real decisions are made. Money and power are not inherently bad, but when they become the overriding objectives, almost everything else can become negotiable.
Whether people have actually become more selfish over the years is difficult to establish. Perhaps some of this behavior has always been part of human nature. Perhaps one simply recognizes it more clearly as one grows older, accumulate experience, and become less inclined to confuse appearances with character. And perhaps today’s world, with its constant emphasis on wealth, status, visibility, and personal advantage, gives such behavior more encouragement than it deserves.
There is wisdom in becoming more selective about whom one trusts, what one shares, and how much of oneself is made available to others. Trust should be earned through consistency, honesty, and behavior over time. The challenge is to remain open to genuine people without remaining exposed to those who would take advantage of us.
Perhaps, one needs fewer people around one, just better people. When one becomes less interested in superficial friendships, empty compliments, and relationships that exist only while there is something to gain, one begins to value quiet sincerity, reliability, and appreciate the rare person who remains present even when there is nothing to be gained.
One cannot control how other people behave, but one can control the distance that one keeps.
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